Really There: Sitting the Second Day

The first day of sitting can feel like slamming on the brakes in the car. I didn’t know I was going that fast!

Recently I spent a Saturday at the Shambhala Center doing a nyinthun, or one-day meditation retreat. It was a full day of mindfulness: mindful sitting, mindful listening, mindful working and walking, thinking and talking. Yet in spite of all that mindfulness, the busyness of my everyday life clung to me, like smoke on my clothes after a party. It was hard to sit, hard to find my breath, hard for my mind to actually be there in the shrine room with my body. Instead, mentally I was in the kitchen, at the office, or at home, examining my to-do list or involved in lively conversation (with people who, of course, weren’t even there). I was at rest, but restless.

The next day I came back for the center’s regular Sunday morning sitting. The moment I hit the cushion I felt settled and clear. I knew exactly where my breath was, and my body felt perfectly balanced and poised, sitting on the Earth. Although my mind wandered at times, I easily came back to that sense of steadiness–knowing  I was sitting, knowing I was in the shrine room, knowing that, finally, I was really there.